Socialism Is A Lie
Forget everything I have told you about the wonderland of peace and equality that is Denmark. These people might seem like perfect little angels who live in their perfect little country, but secretly, they are ruthless, merciless animals.
I’m talking of course about the Danish Holiday Parcel Game. We have similar games in the US, gift exchanges, and things of the like. My family does gag gifts, where you have a number and you choose a gift, gifts can be stolen and traded, but everyone ends up with a hilarious (or not so much depending on which relative bought it) present.
Now, the Danes play a similar version where you roll dice, and if you get certain numbers you can pick a gift or steal others. However, they add a little capitalist twist where you can keep winning gifts if you keep rolling well.
I was obviously pumped we would play this game in our Danish class, so I worked hard to get a nice gift to contribute (a nicely wrapped back massager with a painted ladybug on it).
So when the girl next to me who brought a postcard wrapped in tissues for her gift, ended up with three awesome gifts, and little old me ended up with squat, all my faith in Denmark was broken. I just could not roll a six. Someone would of course be using my incredible massager gift, and postcard girl ended up with all sorts of goodies.
In the words of one of my funnier classmates, “Just like in life, there are winners and losers.” What happened to Equality being everything Danish people!?? Being the loser sucks!!
The story ends happy though! One girl just felt bad for me so she gave me her second prize, which turned out to be a delicious smelling bar of chocolate soap. So all is well that ends well (sort of).
The crazy part is, they play these games with children. So imagine little blond Rasmus having three gifts, only to have snot-faced (also blond) Hans role three sixes and steal his gifts. That could be the most sadistic thing I have ever heard of. Not to mention little Fritz, who never even got a prize in the first place! It is a wonder these Danes are as functional as they are after the traumatic childhoods they have had!
P.S. I am definitely bringing this version of the game back to the United States. It’s great fun in a beat up your little sister (hi Kira!!) sort of way..